The Blame Game: Who is the Real Culprit?

It's interesting. I recently advertised my little Belize adventure on two separate Belize-related forums - the belize forum and the island board. My initial intention, believe it or not, was to share an experience that I believed would appeal to people familiar with the locale.

Some were upset that I seemed to be denigrating the country. Not so. Take a look at the title I gave my first entry - I came away from the place with fond memories. What surprised me most, however, was the negative reactions I received from some members of the forum. Don't get me wrong - I dropped a few names - and I understand why someone might feel compelled to come to their defense.

I'm not interested in that. What I'm really curious about was the tendency - the very human tendency - to "blame the victim." Let me give an example - here is something I pulled off the board (you can visit the originals at the links above - I may have edited to some degree but I don't think unfairly so).

"I laughed so hard at your Cave tubing adventure, but OMG how stupid to leave anything of value out in plain sight. I felt sorry for your misfortune. But really, it was self induced. We travel extensively, and always keep valuables and/or important documents under lock and key or at least under our noses. It's too bad Erica didn't use a little more of a consoling attitude, but come on. On a first floor balcony. It was only a matter of time!"

OR

"I can't help feeling that Dan had an exceptionally naive approach to travelling. I would not leave valuables and important documents inside a locked hotel room without taking other precautions. To leave it all in a backpack on a balcony right next to a public beach (I know Mata Rocks) AND THEN LEAVE THE PREMISES is absolutely incredible. How can you possibly ascribe any blame to Mata Rocks?"

OR

"In the times we live in treating the security of U.S. passports with such admitted gross negligence should perhaps be an offense punishable by non-issuance of a new passport for a period of 1 year."

So the theft was my fault. Again, don't get me wrong. There was certainly an element of contributory negligence. I left the bag out on the balcony. I was "asking for it." Well, I'll grant you that it was a stupid oversight. And one I'm unlikely to make again.

But this is an interesting phenomenon, nonetheless. It was present on the forum and, more atrociously, was present in my dealings with the hotel staff. "It's too bad Erica didn't use a little more of a consoling attitude, but come on. On a first floor balcony. It was only a matter of time!" Yeah. Perhaps it was. Perhaps we should expect theft and take all precautions to avoid it. Don't walk in Morningside Park at 3am, if you're shot, it'll be your fault.

Why do we do this? Why are we so willing to blame the victim? Perhaps we don't want to hear him whining about something that he might have prevented. He's just as guilty as the criminal. What is it about us that rejects empathy and wants to lay blame on the speaker?

I can think of a couple things to account for its occurrence in this instance. First, I understand that the Mata Rocks staff felt a need to push responsibility away from themselves. The theft took place on their property, under the nose of their guard. I left the bag out, but their safety precautions failed in this instance. I never suggested they were to blame - and I don't do so now. But I think that when it occurred they felt a need to deflect any potential blame. Therefore they say - "you shouldn't have left it out." Thanks. I get it. First reason for blaming the victim - deflecting blame on yourself, avoiding responsibility.

Second, there must be a different reason for the reaction of the forum members. They obviously bear no responsibility for the theft. Why do they feel the need to play the blame game? Well, one reason might be the felt need to defend the country of Belize against an unfair attack. I thought I was quite explicit in saying that I like the country despite everything, but I see where the story might lead you. After all, I was posting this link on a de facto tourism board. Another reason might be a human need for superiority - "here's a dumb guy who left his bag out. I would never do that. I'm better than him. And I should let the world know. And I should let him know." Maybe that accounts for it. A third possible reason could be that we're comfortable blaming the victim because we understand and empathize with him. We don't understand the criminal and so we accept him as a given. The victim is an individual whose agency we can comprehend - we see his mistake and we feel the need to point it out because we understand it.

I don't know. I don't know if any of these things are true. I welcome any other ideas.

As a postscript, all I wanted to just share a funny story. Indeed, I don't feel bad about anything that happened really - aside from my desire to recoup the $800 in insurance.

And by the way, thank you for all the warm compliments, I only wish that they might be left on this blog here, as it seems so balefully devoid of comments.